Each week I am posting some sort of creative writing on the blog. While last week it was a piece of flash fiction, this week it is some poetry. I normally shy away from poetry. I don’t feel confident in my ability to write it without it being either pretentious or cringe-worthy.
Nevertheless, here goes nothing! Please be gentle… This piece is very much personally inspired.
Who am I hiding my true self from?
Who am I pretending to be?
I feel as though I wear a mask,
And few in my life know the true me.
Even my name given at birth,
Sounds foreign on my ears;
She is not me, and I’m not her,
Though I tried to be for years.
I felt as though I had no choice,
That I was destined for one life;
I never questioned anything,
Never thought I even had that right.
“Live out the American dream, my dear,
Be a doctor, a lawyer, or work at a bank!
Never question the life given to you,
Just bring pride to the family name.”
But what if I don’t want the family name?
What if I want a name all my own?
A name to match who I am on the inside,
A name that feels like home.
For far too long, I felt resigned,
To be someone who felt so fake;
I never even questioned
Whether I had to accept this fate.
Then I found writing, I found my blog
And suddenly I felt alive;
Empowerment dawned over me,
And I saw the world with fresh eyes.
I am not reinventing myself.
This is not me starting anew.
This is me affirming who I am.
This is me becoming true.
Deep down I’ve always been the same girl,
The same hopes and fears and dreams;
It’s just that finally I feel I can let her out,
Finally I can just be me.