This is a difficult post for me to write. I took the longest break I’ve ever taken from blogging, and for that I feel incredibly guilty — even though I had some very good reasons!
Melanoma, surgeries, infertility, IVF, moving (twice), and my biggest reason of all … IVF worked, and, after a pregnancy fraught with complications and a couple of big scares, I now have a baby!
I’m actually typing this one-handed because my baby wants to sleep in my arms rather than in his bassinet. Of course, I am taking the occasional typing break to grab a swig of coffee!
Last year was truly the hardest year of my life. The melanoma blindsided me, even though my mom died from melanoma, so I should have not been too surprised. I am infinitely grateful to have caught it early enough that surgery was sufficient. IVF is a grueling medical process as well – loads of needles, expensive medications, constant doctors visits, and of course surgery.
After I successfully got pregnant from the IVF, I started hemorrhaging (on Christmas, no less) and was given a 50/50 chance of losing the baby. Once we were out of the woods, so to speak, things finally started looking up. However, in my third trimester, I experienced some more complications. There were frequent periods of decreased fetal movement which led to a number of hospital visits. At 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, it was discovered that my amniotic fluid levels were dangerously low and the baby needed to get out, STAT! My doctor said that, one or two more days and he would have been stillborn.
So, I was wheeled over to the hospital for an emergency C-section. To say that I was nervous is an understatement! Despite my trepidation, the surgery itself was surprisingly quick and free from complications. I have been quite lucky that recovery from major abdominal surgery has actually been a breeze. I am four months postpartum, and physically I feel back to my normal self. Emotionally, I’ve been struggling with postpartum anxiety.
Most importantly, though, Baby Graham is healthy and happy!!! He is growing like a weed and is in the 97th percentile for height and 70th for weight … safe to say he’s not missing any meals!
I feel like I owe my readers a massive apology for my incredibly lengthy absence. Even though I recognize that my reasons were quite legitimate, I still feel like a failure as a blogger.
Thanks are in order to my blogger friend Paul E. Bailey for encouraging me to take the leap back into blogging.
I think that at this point, I can only commit to blogging maybe once a week, but I am so happy to be back!