Weblog Wednesday: Stubborn Spontaneity

For those who tuned in last week, my anxiety and depression are somewhat better this week. Hashtag thank you Prozac!

But seriously, aside from my trusty SSRI, I am grateful for a wonderful support system to help when I am struggling with anxiety and depression. This week has been a decent improvement, with some fun nights out.

On Wednesday of last week, I got a group text among a group of girlfriends. One of my friend’s evening plans of a concert had fallen through, and she wanted to hang out. No one else but me could make it, and honestly I waffled back and forth on whether to be so spontaneous.

This is totally unrelated to the story at hand, but while deliberating on whether to go on a spontaneous night out, I sent my very first Snapchat with the funny dog ears. I must admit, the slurping noise the app makes when you stick out your tongue is surprisingly amusing.

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Anyway, so, after much deliberation and hemming and hawing, I decided to be spontaneous and go out to dinner with my friend at the last minute.

My friend and I met after work at a casual taco place whose menu board featured a fabulous alternative to what us Americans are having to choose between right now. (Although, I’d prefer wine to tequila 😉 )

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My friend and I literally arrived for happy hour just under the gun — TWO MINUTES UNTIL SIX! After recovering from our close call, we each ordered margaritas, and I tried a couple of tacos along with corn and veggies. The food was pretty good, but not oh em gee spectacular.

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I’ve got to say, though, in spite of my anxiety over doing something so spontaneous, I actually really ended up enjoying myself. I have a terrible habit of being such.a.planner. To the point that I rarely ever do anything spontaneous. All of my meals are planned, all of my exercises are planned, everything in my life is built around plans. Even down to every cup of coffee or piece of gum. I’m a crazy hardcore planner. Sometimes I think I’m allergic to spontaneity.

I know it sounds crazy, because I love my friends and I love going out, but golly jeepers the prospect of going out for a girl’s night at the LAST MINUTE gives me so much anxiety. I can’t really explain it.

Anyway, this is clearly something I’m working on. I don’t necessarily need to get to a point where I’m a free spirit who hops on a plane for an impromptu vacay or anything. But, baby steps, you know?

On Thursday, I cooked up a nice dinner for myself and The Mister: steak for him (I don’t eat things that moo…or have fur at all, now that I think of it), baked sweet potatoes, grilled asparagus, roasted carrots, and cheese biscuits.

I really freaking love cooking. Have I mentioned that lately? Can someone make me the next Pioneer Woman, please?

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Dinner was delicious, and that’s not just me tooting my own horn. I guess what I mean is that there is just something so satisfying about spending hours cooking a meal, that the meal tastes that much better simply because of the work put into it.

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Friday was an utterly gorgeous autumn day in Nashville. There was not a cloud in the sky, and it was slightly brisk in the shade but hot in the sun. Over my lunch break, I decided to check out a local park just down the road from my office. So I went on a quick four mile run around a new (to me) green-way.

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On Saturday I had a fabulous long run and beat my current half marathon PR, which really boosted my running confidence. That evening we attended a party from a local MeetUp group and met loads of new friends.

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I brought these disastrous looking yet yummy tasting sugar cookies to the party, where gratefully no one keeled over dead from my baking. At least, not that I saw. 😉

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Meeting so many new people at once was a tad anxiety-provoking, but my fears were quelled fairly quickly once we had arrived, and I’m glad we went.

The rest of the weekend was a lazy blur spent reading, chilling at the bookstore, and crafting.

I had Monday off of work, which was quite delightful. I still woke up at my normal time, and instead of trying to go back to sleep, I poured myself some coffee into a Yeti and embarked on a cool, crisp early morning stroll while listening to Morning Edition. I’ve gotta say, it was a pretty perfect way to spend the morning.

And look at these nifty clouds I saw!

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Today was my first workday of the week, and well, as usual I wish I could vent more openly. Again, I’ll just say …. I’m quite frustrated at the moment.

Tonight we took my mother in law out to dinner for her birthday. After dinner, we did something spontaneous — went out for frozen yogurt!!!

Y’all. It’s sad how proud I am when I do something even remotely spontaneous. But again, baby steps…

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Oh, I forgot to put earlier, but Sunday night was also spent watching the televised circus presidential debate. This is not a political blog. I have no intentions of making this a political blog. I shall bite my tongue and encourage everyone to form his or her own opinion on any candidates in any election in whatever country you may live in. But gee willikers there is some frightening rhetoric out there.

Tell me, how was your week? Anything exciting going on in your life? Any thoughts on the presidential debate, or spontaneity, or frozen yogurt?

Until next time,

xoxo Charlotte

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3 comments

  1. Congrats on feeling better. Have you seen “Frontier House?” It’s a PBS reality show of three families living like pioneers. This is circa 1995 so it might be hard to find… it used to be on netflix.

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